It’s time nudists got real about sex.

Lores cover pic

I sometimes masturbate to pornography.

Sometimes it’s hard, sometimes it’s soft.

And I have sex. And I get turned on at the sight of the naked human body.

Sometimes.

And yet here I am, a family-friendly, non-predatory, humanitarian naturist and ‘nudism activist’, fighting regularly for non-sexual freedom of the human body.

Am I wearing The Emperor’s New Clothes?

The first time I ever went dancing was at a Burning Man underground dance party fundraiser in Sydney.

I was already a nudist, and I was finally ready to allow myself to dance for the first time in my life after an upbringing of conservative, ultra-strict Christian values and rules-following.

Into the night I danced nude as Burning Man embraces all forms of peaceful self-expression, and for five hours I was nothing more than joy and music, movement and body, with no drugs and without a tingle of sexual arousal felt in my body the entire time.

And yet, if something had happened down there, once upon a time as a fledgling nudist it would have been a problem with me.

When I first became a ‘naturist’, there was nothing sexual about it at all. It was a health therapy and powerful relaxation technique for this stressful fast-paced world we live in, and it plays that role now as it ever has.

I was excited. I discovered something that could help other people. So I got involved in the nudity-loving community at large, drinking up the philosophy and etiquette of what made up ‘family-friendly’, ‘ideal’, socially-acceptable naturism.

I was still a Christian at the time, and because I saw in my heart not one speck of sexual desire or dalliance in these simple activities I was doing (whether nude hiking or beachgoing or social meetups), I passionately committed to the mantra of nudism that states, ‘Nudity does NOT equal sexuality.’

I spent weeks and months deconditioning myself from being aroused at the sight of bodies that I am attracted to, and successfully dampened that part of my sexual energy – all in the name of this newfound  ‘freedom’ I had discovered.

I made myself immune (you could throw anything at me): I achieved what seemed like the epitome of safe, non-sexual, social nudity, and I patted myself on the back. It was hard work.

But as I matured further in my journey of nudism and sex (exploring the latter, also for the first time, again because of my upbringing), I realised what I had become.

I became a monk-like, zen, Kumbaya asexual naturist, and I was living an utter denial of reality.

A few times during this period of ‘purity’, I ‘failed’ – caving in to pornography once again. And not this time because I was a Christian, but because I was a ‘true nudist’ – a ‘real’ naturist, who didn’t do that sort of thing.

So I grew up.

And I started accepting reality.

This is the truth I finally realised, and the truth the entire nudism world must embrace if it wants a place in today’s increasingly sexualised and porn-saturated world:

Nudity can be BOTH sexual and non-sexual.

Nudity is a sexual thing.

Nudity is a non-sexual thing.

Both statements are true. They are true for different contexts, and for what you want to choose (or the way your body works – asexuality is a thing).

We are sexual beings, we are sexual creatures, and the truth is that simple non-sexual nudity CAN operate within our wider context of being attracted to each other.

It happens in the change room at the local pool. It happens when you take a shower, or take a dump. It happens when you put on your clothes in front of your partner, after sex.

See?

Two extremes, two statements, at either end of the spectrum.

One extreme is decided aversion to non-sexual social nudity: a fear of desensitising oneself from what one is attracted to, and as a result losing what is a huge part of the compelling excitement, and experience of sex.

The other extreme is the decision that desensitisation is the only way to safely practice non-sexual social nudity – because only then will you gain the comfortable trust of others who want that freedom too.

Today I am calling for a radically different decision to be made.

We do not have to make a choice between these two freedoms. We do not have to make a trade-off, a sacrifice, a side-picking. It does not require painful negotiation or hard work in every moment!

What it takes is an emotional courage and intelligence, and we are damn ready as a society to take this conscious step.

What it takes is a little letting go of fear…

Are you ready to take this step of faith? Or do you think you will lose something?

Our civilisation is ripe overdue for a mature, honest conversation about our body and all its functions. It’s time to stop being ashamed of how it works, why we pursue what we pursue, and why we (diversely) enjoy what we enjoy. As a lover of non-sexual social nudity, I love the human body – it’s damn sexy – and I’m not ashamed of that! I’m proud of my balance.

We need to stop being afraid of each other, and instead be curious to understand each other.

True freedom is balance. True freedom is the middle ground. True freedom, is choice.

You have that choice and power! You have the power inside you to respond to the human body in whichever of these two legitimate, safe, and humane ways, that you want.

And you ought to have the freedom to choose.

It’s time to call out The Emperor’s New Clothes.

Because it’s time. That we got real.


18 thoughts on “It’s time nudists got real about sex.

  1. John and sue Reply

    Nothing wrong with sex – it’s natural, often fun, often fun to watch or to be watched. We all need it, often with our loved ones, more occasionally with others of like mind and need. More please!

    1. sassycoupleok Reply

      Very true, at our nude resort there are always some attractions to the opposite sex and at times it’s mutual. Sometimes it’s acted on in private. As long as all parties are consenting, accepting and respectful it can is often a very wonderful and enjoyable experience. The nude community needs to learn that this is reality.

    2. david Reply

      very true sex is very natural & lots of fun. I Love to watch & to be watched I love to meet any like mind people who love to have sex outdoors

  2. Matthew Kerwin Reply

    Clothing is about sex. Clothing is not about sex. As with nudity, both statements are true. Much clothing is designed and worn to make the body more sexually alluring than if nude.

  3. John Reply

    I find it strange that you felt the need to spend months “reconditioning” yourself. Huh? Maybe you’re doing it wrong. I’ve been a social nudist since 2011 (home nudist prior), and a Christian, and never felt any need to deliberately condition myself. Seeing nude people often has naturally desensitized me to seeing nudity. Nudity is not sexual or non-sexual, it’s just being naked, it’s not wearing clothes. Having sex or exercising or reading are things you can do naked. It’s what you do while naked that defines what you are doing, not the nudity itself.

    1. E. Grunland Reply

      what we are failing to identify is the additional factor of stimulation that is essential in becoming sexual. It is well documented provocative clothing and the imagination of what is not seen lead more to heightened arousal than nudity itself. As in so many other circumstances, the manner in which you present yourself, clothed or unclothed, is more apt to elicit sexual arousal than nudity alone.

  4. Ted Bun (@Mr_Ted_Bun) Reply

    Nudity is neither sexual nor non-sexual … there is only one sexual organ in the body, the brain.
    If you think about anything …. and I mean anything … as sexual it will be arousing. A good looking person of the opposite sex, a pair or shoes or a classic motorcycle.
    What happens in private is not my concern … I really don’t want to be watched or watch thanks

  5. William Reply

    Reblogged this on William's blog.

  6. ysgibson Reply

    Reblogged this on Freedom Fields Naturist Ranch and commented:
    Live and let live. To each their own.

    1. sassycoupleok Reply

      You are so right there young lady. What happens behind closed doors with others is no ones business.

  7. naturalian Reply

    Reblogged this on Naturalian's Blog and commented:
    I find it sensual rather than sexual,but it can be both!

  8. Bob Dess Reply

    “I became a monk-like, zen, Kumbaya asexual naturist, and I was living an utter denial of reality.”
    This quote describes a lot of peoples attitude about “True Nudism” and it sucks. From my first social nudism experience to my most recent I have felt sexual excitement when it was appropriate, and I was able to enjoy the freedom and release of just being naked when that was the appropriate response. Purists try so hard to embarrass new practitioners, in the USA in particular, that it is no wonder that many leave the movement before they ever have a chance to balance their inner psyche. As noted in the article and comments, Nudism can be freeing, enlightening, sensual and sexual. PEOPLE are made up of many emotional states. I find the best way to be a nudist/naturist is to be yourself without clothing. PERIOD!

  9. Imp of the Sun Reply

    Perhaps you misconstrued the message? It is not the naturist/nudist that is non-sexual, rather it is the practice of social nudity that is non-sexual.

    Most people are sexual beings, including those who identify as naturist or nudist. Those people go to work, or the grocery store, or library, or many other places. None of that is generally considered sexual. The same holds true for nude beaches, or campgrounds, or resorts.

    The people who go there are sexual, but much like the grocery store, or library, or other public places, overt sexual conduct is insensitive to the comfort of other patrons, and therefore inappropriate.

  10. cmblake6 Reply

    Outstanding article, extremely well said!

  11. cmblake6 Reply

    Reblogged this on Cmblake6's Weblog and commented:
    This is an absolutely brilliant description of the “nude and natural” life. For those who think being naked is for sex only? No, it isn’t. For those who believe they can’t control themselves? Yes, you can.

  12. doggod42 Reply

    Interesting at a music festival at a nude park this summer, people started putting on this or that piece of fabric while they danced, apparently to enhance their sexual attractiveness. There is nothing particularly sexual about nudity, and I believe the primary purpose of clothing — beyond meeting the need for warmth or getting out of the excess uv of the sun — is to stimulate sexual interest.

    “Hey, look at me, look at what I’m covering, don’t you wish you could see it? It’s the part you want to play with, if you could convince me to let you.”

    Without the covering it’s just another pussy or cock or balls or tits that you see everywhere, so who’s gonna pay attention to yours?

    This society we live in is upside down about so many things, my friend. Sex itself being another thing, but I want to keep this focused.

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